Many human beings make the mistake of looking outside of themselves to find happiness. We will often go as far as to blame others for our unhappiness when in truth, happiness comes from within ourselves. If we make the mistake of blaming others when we are unhappy, then our personal goals become so much harder to achieve.
You might wonder why this is so, the simple answer is; if you are bogged down in misery, blaming everyone else but yourself for your unhappiness, then you are not working on achieving your goals. You are distracting yourself from what you could be achieving. The longer you spend in misery, blaming others, the less you will achieve and those life long goals that you have set yourself will be put on the back burner and may never be achieved.
The only way forward is to realise that you are completely responsible for your own happiness. For some this is a hard pill to swallow, but swallow it you must especially if you have dreams and goals you wish to achieve in your life. Wasting precious time blaming others for your unhappiness is foolish. Forget about the people who did you wrong and get back on the horse. Follow your dreams and goals and don’t let others distract you.
It is very easy to blame the actions of others when we are feeling unhappy and while it is true that other people are capable of doing horrible things, they do not have any power over your feelings and thoughts. You can change this regardless of what other people try to do to hold you back. To use an example; perhaps you have a friend who is a complete downer and puts everything and everyone down and this leads to you feeling unhappy. The simple answer is to cut this person off or at the very least reduce how much time you give these people.
Nasty people exist in this life; that is a fact. It is up to you to cut these people out of your life. This might seem difficult, especially if these people were once good friends. Someone who seeks to bring you down or hurt you is not your friend and you would be wise to cut them loose. Negative people can literally suck the life out of you and this will not help you to achieve the goals you have set for yourself.
You are responsible for picking up the pieces of your life. Nobody else is going to do this for you. Even if someone has done you wrong, you cannot expect this person to restore you to your happy state of mind. You have a decision to make, you need to decide whether these people are worth keeping around. Negative people who hurt you are often completely clueless to the damage they do, so talking to them is probably a waste of time. Cutting these people loose is likely your best option.
Perhaps your partner has done something to hurt you; he or she might be cheating with a new lover. You cannot wait around for him or her to make things better, you need to get on with your life and do what is needed to rebuild your happiness. The best thing to do is ignore your partner and take care of yourself. Take as much time as you think you will need to get clear on what you want out of life and your relationships.
It is up to you if you want to deal with you partner’s cheating. Perhaps it would be better to cut them loose and never see him or her again, especially if cheating is one of your deal breakers. You must be true to yourself if you hope to achieve personal happiness. Never, ever lie to yourself or fall into denial. Get control of your emotions and take your time thinking everything over. Make the final decision with your head, not your heart.
If your cheating partner refuses to simply get lost, then maybe a discussion is needed. If you are sure the relationship is over, then make it clear the two of you are through and do not enter into any kind of arguing or negotiation. Be crystal clear with your partner that the relationship is done. Think with your head, not your heart. Your emotions and feelings will often lie to you. Statistics do show that someone who cheats will do it again. You will feel better once you have made your decision and followed through on it.
We need to kick ourselves in the back-side and get back to working on achieving personal happiness and working on the relationship we have with ourselves. The most important relationship we will ever have is the one we have with ourselves. Take a good look at the people in your life who always seem to be happy no matter what is going on. These are the people who have achieved self love and happiness within themselves.
Working at building happiness within yourself is the first step towards learning how to love yourself unconditionally. Achieving unconditional love for yourself will not protect you from getting hurt, but you will get smarter and wiser and be able to sense when something is not right. Once you have mastered unconditional love for yourself, it will be easier to love others without condition, however this is for another article. When we love ourselves without condition, we accept our flaws and we are far more likely to succeed at achieving whatever goals we set for ourselves.